Three Ways to Destabilize a Narcissist


Narcissism is a serious personality disorder that destroys the lives of people who have the misfortune of being the victim of a narcissist. Narcissists are broken people that have no empathy, and the goals of a narcissist include control, domination, and having a constant supply of adoration from their victims.

This is not an article to encourage revenge or retribution against abusive narcissists. In fact, the point of this article is to help people arm themselves with tools for protecting against narcissists. Please see my article here on some of the key phrases that a narcissist will use to devalue a person in order to gain control of them

Narcissists often prey on empaths and people with a kind and giving nature. I speak from experience on this; I was the victim of a narcissist and by the time he was finished with me, I was a shadow of my former self. My confidence and kind heart were robbed from me as a result of almost a decade of systematic abuse and control by the narcissist.

How does one begin to take their power from a narcissist? How can we stop a narcissist in their tracks? The following tools are not the only ways to deal with a narcissist, however, these are three relatively simple things to use when the person being victimized decides that they no longer wish to be a victim.

Learn How to Set Boundaries

A narcissist will never choose someone to victimize that has the ability to set firm boundaries. In fact the prime target for a narcissist is someone who doesn’t have any boundaries. A narcissist is afraid of the type of person that is able to set boundaries because the worst fear of the narcissist is a person that can see through their masks. Narcissists are terrified to be exposed for what they truly are. Their entire world is built upon the masks they wear

Say No!!!

Narcissists hate the word no. Often when you say no to a narcissist they will either throw a temper tantrum like a small child or they will go off and pout, sometimes for days while giving you the silent treatment. A narcissist often goes through childhood never being told no because of parents or caregivers that turn them into ‘Golden Boys’ or ‘Princesses’ by giving them whatever they want. If the child is told no, they quickly learn that by having a temper tantrum they can easily get what they want. It is said that a person’s psychological blueprint is created in childhood – narcissism is no exception. Narcissists are created from poor and neglectful parenting.

Develop Strong Self Confidence

Narcissists surround themselves with people that stroke their egos and enable their bad behavior. The groups of people that narcissists have around them are commonly referred to as flying monkeys, otherwise known as ‘yes men/women’. People who are easy to manipulate, that are willing to go along with whatever the narcissist says or wants. A narcissist will never target a person that has self confidence, they have a keen sense when someone has confidence in themselves; the kind of person who the narcissist knows they can’t manipulate.

***Please note that if you are dealing with a physically abusive narcissist, arm yourself with plenty of information and ensure that you have support from other people if you are deciding to leave or stand up to the narcissist. Please protect yourself, and never underestimate the insidious and diabolical nature of the narcissist, whether they are male or female, narcissism occurs equally in men and women at the same rates***

Prairie Sky Wellness

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